Like a Girl

the Lebanese girls I knew could throw a fisted tongue at any man that dared cross a boundary

Like a Girl

Soon as the music played, I’d hoist myself up 
onto my tippy toes, sway my hips, my arms
frolicking in the air like wind blown silk. 
The adults were quick to admonish; don’t dance 
like a girl. Throughout the years I was chided 
for a list of “girl-like” behavior; don’t act like 
a girl, talk like a girl, walk like a girl. After the 
shaming came the stoic encouragement; act 
like a man, talk with confidence, and ayeb! stehe 
ala halak! Literally; shame! shy away from 
yourself. Interpreted as shield your disgrace, 
stand with dignity, have you no self-respect?!

But the Lebanese girls I knew could throw a 
fisted tongue at any man that dared cross a 
boundary. Danced like silk water juggling 
pomegranate pearls in the socket between 
hip and thigh. Walked like they were God’s 
staff parting seas ahead of them. Acted like 
they belonged, and did. Held a man’s dignity 
in their palms and knew just when to grip. 
And of self-respect and shyness, of disgrace; 
you should have seen the way Mama stood
straight-spined on the long stems of her
heels, her face blossoming towards the sun 
against every odd.

- Moudi Sbeity

A bit shy sharing this picture. I begged Mama to be a witch for halloween, and bless her, she dolled me up.

This poem is drawn form my forthcoming memoir Habibi Means Beloved. I write about this experience within the context of a trip to Disney World at age ten and my excitement to see Ariel from The Little Mermaid. Woven through this narrative is a commentary on Rumi and Shams, and the way we could live beyond right and wrong, and how, in Sham’s words, we all belong in “the garden of mystic lovers.” This is a chapter I had a lot of fun writing, and I can’t wait you for you read this book.

With this, I’m inviting you to my Book Tour Workshop / Fundraiser this Saturday, August 22, from 10 - 12 MDT. I believe in the message and heart of these books, and hope to offer them as part of larger conversation about awakening, awareness, and the reminder of ourselves and each other as beloved. As a new author and recent graduate, the logistics of this is greater than I can do alone. In the spirit of reciprocity and community, I’m hosting a poetry and writing workshop for just this purpose. It’s uncomfortable for me to ask for something like this without offering something in return. It could be my Arab pride and heritage speaking, or something I’ll ask my superb therapist to uncover. Anyhow, I’ll be reading from both books, offering prompts, and then opening up space to share. You can sign up and register for the event here: Sign up here.

If you feel moved to contribute but cannot attend, you can still register on Eventbrite. This will be recorded and shared. If by chance you are moved to contribute a larger sum, please do so on Venmo— @moudi-sbeity

In deep gratitude 🙏

Photo by Vincent Péré on Unsplash

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News & Events

Online Events

🌱 Tuesday, Sept 8, 4pm ET
Writing workshop and & book conversation with ZenJen Brown at 4pm ET. Register here for free.

🌸 Tuesday, Sept 29, 4pm ET
Join me for Living Your Poetry - Presence. Poetry. Practice. A Community Conversation with poet Lisa Breger, hosted by ZenJen Brown. Register here for free.

💜 Save the date. Monday, October 5
The Raft will host the official online book launch for my debut memoir, Habibi Means Beloved. Watch for event details soon.

💜 Save the date. Friday, September 18
Official online book launch for Alhamdulillah Anyway with Laurie Wagner. Details coming soon.

In-Person Events

Saturday Oct 17
Salt Lake City Book Launch and conversation with The King’s English Bookshop at Salt Lake Book Fest. I’ll be joined in conversation by my dear friend Erin Geesaman Rabke from Seeds of Possibility. Register here.

Thursday October 22, 6 - 8pm in SLC, UT
Queer as Beloved - Writing workshop at Under the Umbrella bookshop exploring the intersection of queer identity and spiritual practice. Details coming soon.

Friday October 23, 6 - 8pm in SLC, UT
Intimate book celebration with family and friends. An opportunity to see all the folks I hope to see, share some good food from my former restaurant, Laziz Kitchen, listen to my beloved Taylor play the piano, and some room at the end for an open mic. Register here for free.

Wednesday, October 28, 6 - 8pm in Boulder, CO
Boulder book launch at Trident Cafe. Details coming soon.

📚 Habibi Means Beloved (memoir) & Alhamdulillah Anyway (poetry)

are now available for pre-order - moudisbeity.com